Frustrated
I'm feeling pretty frustrated.
How to characterize this frustration? Well, at present, I can't really produce to my usual standards. This is mostly true at work, since lately I've been a cleaning fiend and am actually able to take pride in the condition of my home, which is unusual.
So mostly the problem is work. But it's not just the usual "Oh, I'm so pregnant and I can't do what I used to do" thing.
The fact is, I'm perpetually bad at managing my workload. This is not in any way a new problem. This problem is what made me hire people two years ago. That was another in a long list of failed attempts to deal with the workload problem.
Because the thing is, when you are a marketing consultant/designer/programmer, you get paid by the work you produce. In order to make more, you have to produce more. Sometimes you are tempted to try to produce more than you can while still maintaining your sanity. Here are my current best guesses for how to deal with this problem:
1. Charge more
2. Decline projects
Charge more is not an issue. My prices are healthy. I make a robust hourly rate, the little annoying prospects run the other direction, and the types of organizations and business people I really like to work with never seem to get ruffled about it. So I figure I'm in a good spot, price-wise.
Declining projects is trickier. I'm totally over the idea that I have to take every job that comes at me. After more than six years, I am really good at spotting a job that won't be a good fit, either from a skills or personality standpoint, and I'm reasonably good at declining that work. But what if I really want to do the job?
This is where it gets tricky, because I do take on more than I can handle. I like money, it's true. But mostly I like what I do. Everything sounds so terribly interesting, and it keeps getting me into trouble.
So, which jobs to decline? What criteria to use? Can I spread them out more? It's all easier said than done.
Compound this with the fact that I'm pregnant, which rules out the one coping mechanism I've used successfully over the years - working my ass off, 18 hours a day if necessary. I just can't do it anymore. I may never be able to do it again. And it's forcing me to deal with an issue I've never properly resolved, although I've desperately needed to.
How to characterize this frustration? Well, at present, I can't really produce to my usual standards. This is mostly true at work, since lately I've been a cleaning fiend and am actually able to take pride in the condition of my home, which is unusual.
So mostly the problem is work. But it's not just the usual "Oh, I'm so pregnant and I can't do what I used to do" thing.
The fact is, I'm perpetually bad at managing my workload. This is not in any way a new problem. This problem is what made me hire people two years ago. That was another in a long list of failed attempts to deal with the workload problem.
Because the thing is, when you are a marketing consultant/designer/programmer, you get paid by the work you produce. In order to make more, you have to produce more. Sometimes you are tempted to try to produce more than you can while still maintaining your sanity. Here are my current best guesses for how to deal with this problem:
1. Charge more
2. Decline projects
Charge more is not an issue. My prices are healthy. I make a robust hourly rate, the little annoying prospects run the other direction, and the types of organizations and business people I really like to work with never seem to get ruffled about it. So I figure I'm in a good spot, price-wise.
Declining projects is trickier. I'm totally over the idea that I have to take every job that comes at me. After more than six years, I am really good at spotting a job that won't be a good fit, either from a skills or personality standpoint, and I'm reasonably good at declining that work. But what if I really want to do the job?
This is where it gets tricky, because I do take on more than I can handle. I like money, it's true. But mostly I like what I do. Everything sounds so terribly interesting, and it keeps getting me into trouble.
So, which jobs to decline? What criteria to use? Can I spread them out more? It's all easier said than done.
Compound this with the fact that I'm pregnant, which rules out the one coping mechanism I've used successfully over the years - working my ass off, 18 hours a day if necessary. I just can't do it anymore. I may never be able to do it again. And it's forcing me to deal with an issue I've never properly resolved, although I've desperately needed to.
posted by babyoog at 9:47 AM
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