If you think I owe you an explanation...
...it's because I probably do.
Yes, I'm obsessed with my kid. I'm so obsessed with him, in fact, that I'm ignoring everything and everyone else. And I almost don't care.
I have to admit I do care a little. If you'd asked me this morning, I would have said I didn't care at all. Because I didn't. So this caring thing - it comes and goes.
Right now I care, mostly because I just read Jen's blog and I feel like I'm missing out just a little tiny bit on all the fun things Jen and Andrew and Dave and I used to do when our youngest had his driver's license and was, to the best of my knowledge, potty trained.
The thing is, you have this baby, and you get mad because suddenly everybody is treating you like you're transparent. But then, after about six weeks, you figure out you are transparent, metaphysically speaking. Suddenly, the hole that has been gnawing at your insides since you were a little child is filled in. And because of that, magically, you no longer give a crap what anyone else thinks about you.
Now, that can be a little dangerous. Because in order to get along in the world, it's useful for other people to think highly of you. Which brings me back around to the caring part, and the explanation. I think, so-and-so just doesn't get me anymore. But it's not because so-and-so has changed. It's because I've changed. Transformed, actually. And that may hurt both of us, because maybe you think I don't love you anymore. But I do. I love you so, so much better than before. I can do that because I'm a better person. Really.
So there's the explanation. It's probably not good enough for some, but I hope it's good enough for you, if you felt like you needed it. Please know I love you, even if I never call.
Yes, I'm obsessed with my kid. I'm so obsessed with him, in fact, that I'm ignoring everything and everyone else. And I almost don't care.
I have to admit I do care a little. If you'd asked me this morning, I would have said I didn't care at all. Because I didn't. So this caring thing - it comes and goes.
Right now I care, mostly because I just read Jen's blog and I feel like I'm missing out just a little tiny bit on all the fun things Jen and Andrew and Dave and I used to do when our youngest had his driver's license and was, to the best of my knowledge, potty trained.
The thing is, you have this baby, and you get mad because suddenly everybody is treating you like you're transparent. But then, after about six weeks, you figure out you are transparent, metaphysically speaking. Suddenly, the hole that has been gnawing at your insides since you were a little child is filled in. And because of that, magically, you no longer give a crap what anyone else thinks about you.
Now, that can be a little dangerous. Because in order to get along in the world, it's useful for other people to think highly of you. Which brings me back around to the caring part, and the explanation. I think, so-and-so just doesn't get me anymore. But it's not because so-and-so has changed. It's because I've changed. Transformed, actually. And that may hurt both of us, because maybe you think I don't love you anymore. But I do. I love you so, so much better than before. I can do that because I'm a better person. Really.
So there's the explanation. It's probably not good enough for some, but I hope it's good enough for you, if you felt like you needed it. Please know I love you, even if I never call.
posted by babyoog at 9:36 PM
1 comments
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